La vie est belle !

Ode to the Métro

Ode to the Métro

Plan de Paris

Plan de Paris

The first time I saw you, I heard your music,
Many voices blending with accordion song.
Colored lines on your walls a hectic logic,
The rush to fill your emptiness a never-ending throng

Of workers and students and tourists,
Going here and there and there and here,
To jobs, to schools, to see the sights,

Together or alone, the Paris purists
Know you. Love or hate you, it’s nonetheless clear –
You are the veins carrying life through the City of Lights.
 

 
 

This is part of the writing 201 – poetry course at BloggingU.

Assignment Day 5:

Prompt – Map

Form – Ode

Device – Metaphor

Don’t hesitate, chers lecteurs, to offer criticism. I have not experimented with form or indeed with poetry very much since college, back in 199…yeah. A while ago 😉

 

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13 Responses to “Ode to the Métro”

  1. Keith Channing

    The first time I went there
    My pocket was picked
    My wallet was taken
    My credit cards nicked

    It may be the artery
    Under the Seine
    But of this I’m sure,
    I won’t use it again.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. Bea dM

    hi, you’ve asked for criticism, so I hope you don’t mind my saying this one is not as good as your previous brilliant ones (imparfait & glowing screen). In my (modest) opinion, the ideas are good, but the many-syllabled lines make it a bit ponderous…? but the map does bring back many memories 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • jetgirlcos

      Not at all! You know, for me, the form thing is a struggle, and I do remember from my college days that “ponderous” was actually a word that my writing prof used back then! He told me often to revise things by condensing and reducing the “wordy-ness.” I guess the French would call it “lourd” ?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Bea dM

        alors je suis en bonne compagnie avec votre prof 🙂 oui, en effet, c’est un peu lourd – pas du tout comme les autres poésies que vous avez produites jusqu’à maintenant!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
    • jetgirlcos

      I thought it was amazing. My husband has spent the last year deciding he’d like to move to a city that has a great transport system, no need for a car, and nice corner boulangeries. Of course, I doubt we’ll find that here in the US. So he might have to either compromise or learn to speak French, n’est-ce pas ?

      Like

      Reply
  3. Le Génie

    Que c’est dur d’être un poète rétro
    qui passe son temps dans le métro
    la rime va moins vite que la rame
    c’est là tout le méli-mélo drame

    Si l’accordéon au son m’accueille
    chaque station est comme un écueil
    qui déverse son flot de passagers
    dont les discours s’envolent légers

    Je compte les stations avant l’arrêt final
    je compte les pieds des rimes totales
    j’ai encore un métro de retard…

    Like

    Reply

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