La vie est belle !

SoCS — Sticks and stones

Badge by: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

 

This post is part of Linda G Hill’s “Stream of Consciousness Saturday”  — Click and read, click and join in! Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “stick.” Use it as a noun, a verb, or add stuff to it to make it an adverb or an adjective. Have fun!

 

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

But words can never hurt me.”  — Children’s Rhyme

 

So goes the playground rhyme. What a lie. I always thought that, even when I was a kid.  I suppose (like the Wiki article says) that the rhyme was meant to encourage a child victim of name-calling to ignore the teasing and not get upset or lash back. Ok, fine. Bad idea to punch someone in the nose for calling you a name. I agree. I even remember my own mother consoling me with similar adages when someone teased me or hurt me. It’s good advice to not give the taunter the satisfaction of stooping to his level, but it just won’t erase the hurt. Some things, once said, can’t be “taken back” or “glossed over.”

As a child I learned to stay quiet about such things, just try to gracefully avoid the offender in the future. It’s really not a bad way to go, and I still do, most of the time. I don’t know about you, chers lecteurs, but for me, when I look back on relationships, friendships, business deals, workplace interactions, when they’ve gone wrong, all I remember is the ugly words. Sometimes they were said to me, sometimes I said them to others, which I always deeply regret, even if it seems to be “justified.”

I had a colleague, once, who was very very sensitive to these words. We’d be having a conversation, and she’d say something like, “Oh, well evidently I’m just ‘silly girl with no real depth'”  And I’d think to myself, “wow. somebody actually said those words to her.” And it must have hurt her because it sounded like a quotation, and she remembered it, word for word. No matter what the person might have said afterwards. The word were “out there”.

Certain things can make working together impossible. A carelessly tossed out word can destroy trust between two people in a heartbeat. In summary,

 

I endeavor to be more careful with the things I say, because even if I can’t stop others from saying things to me that “stick” with me forever, I can do my best not to be the bearer of such things to others.

What do you think, chers lecteurs? Has your heart ever been broken by “mere” words? Have you been guilty of such yourself? Can hurtful words ever be truly “deleted” or are they like files on the internet, forever existing in the ephemera of the mind?

 

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21 Responses to “SoCS — Sticks and stones”

  1. willowdot21

    Words are nasty words are mean
    Sharp as knives their blades are keen.
    Words cut deep, deeper than you can know.
    Sticks and stones may break my bones
    But words can kill, don’t you know!!
    Xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. Sammy D.

    I always wondered who thought up that fallacy. I remember words that hurt me, but worse I vividly remember a few times when I sliced others, and even after being forgiven I would give anything to have those moments back.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  3. Kate Loveton

    Some excellent thoughts expressed here. If words can’t be used as weapons, than why is it said the word is mightier than the sword? Words can cut deep, wound a psyche – sometimes fatally.

    Terrific use of the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. joeyfullystated

    When I was young, I was very sensitive to insults. Now, not so much. I tend to wonder why the person is insulting me, instead.
    I always remember hurtful things I said — that’s the curse. And it stops me from saying more things that might hurt.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    • jetgirlcos

      Yeah, I always hope I stop and think before speaking rashly. As for insults aimed at me, I get surprised and hurt sometimes. The more you care about the person who says them the worse they are, I think.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Celine Jeanjean

    words have such power, and the meaner and more critical the words, the more we remember them, I’ve found. It’s however so easy to forget the positives. That saying is so untrue: sticks and stones make temporary damage whereas words can cause permanent hurt. That was a great post Kelli!

    Like

    Reply
  6. betty

    Visiting from the A/Z Road Trip; I don’t think I made it to your blog during the challenge, but I’m visiting everyone who has signed up for the road trip. Words can be so very powerful, both for good and bad, encouraging, but also destructive. Sadly, I have been hurt by “mere” words a lot but one particular situation involved something my mother in law said about my mom back in August 1998 that caused me not to want to have anything to do with her after that. I didn’t tell my husband for years about what she had said; I think she probably forgot what was said afterwards and really probably didn’t mean it how she said it, but it definitely impacted me. To her dying day, I put a big distance between us and would never allow myself to be close to her again or really talk about anything of significance to her. Sad.

    betty

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • jetgirlcos

      Thanks for visiting. Me too, I’m slowly getting through the list. It is sad when words hurt so much that they sever relationships. I wonder which is worse, when the hurtful words are intentional or when, like in your case, the person doesn’t even remember saying them or realize how cruel they were? Sorry to hear that happened to you 😦

      Like

      Reply
  7. Paula

    I am visiting from the A to Z Road Trip. Your challenge sounds like it was truly a challenge. To write in French, no less. I used to tell my grandkids “sticks and stones” but one day my granddaughter replied with “sometimes words do hurt. I’d rather have broken bones” Made me think about telling them that.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • jetgirlcos

      Thanks for the visit! Yes, it was a challenge 🙂 Your granddaughter sounds like a wise girl, and after having taken just a quick peek at your site (I’m slowly making my way through the A -to-Z list) I can see where she got it from 🙂 I’m definitely going to go take a closer look at your life lessons!

      Like

      Reply
  8. lisabuiecollard

    I SO agree with your take on the poetry. I never understood it, even as a kid, because even back then I was aware of how words did hurt. I think it was made up to deny that they hurt and to refuse to LET them hurt, but it doesn’t work, in my book. Thanks for dropping by, Lisa @ http://www.lisabuiecollard.com

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. JoAnne

    I think the childhood saying was wishful thinking, an old time attempt at affirmation. Most sayings with the word, never, are not true. Mean words cannot be deleted, but considering the source, and time, can help us let them fade into the archives.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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